It wasn't that exciting, C

First off, let me say; I'm not one to kiss and tell. It's not that it goes against my character; I am in fact prohibited from talking about my social life to anyone who doesn't have proper clearance. But since Operative C has definitely violated several company clauses with his last post (and Mr. Hyde will be contacting you, C.) I felt the need for a rebuttal.

It is a matter of public record that I was in the French Riviera during all of December of last year and January of this year, and there is no proof that I left the country during that time. I was actually playing a lot of 7 stud poker at the Monte Carlo (one of my favorite spots) and there are many influential people that can attest to my presence there at that time. Having said that, it is conceivable that I was also somehow at the Japanese Imperial Palace at that time. Stranger things have happened. :)

There is something that we in the business call 'Supersperm'. It is a genetically modified, very concentrated form of seminal fluid that is almost perfect in its purpose. Unless a woman is completely barren, her ovaries are going to get with the program when this stuff hits her system. (In an unrelated sidebar, the stuff is almost impossible to get out of bedsheets. Something I've learned the hard way.) More famous people than I can tell you about are products of this stuff. It is especially in demand in imperial and despotic regimes, for obvious reasons.

Operative C makes it sound like this was some shady operation, but it wasn't, (or it wouldn't be if it had ever even happened) in the slightest. Princess Kiko's heir will be an influential player in Japanese politics in about 20 years, and the fact that this child is being born into her household is no arbitrary decision. I can't speak about this in any more depth. Just rest assured, there's not going to be any Pearl Harbors any time soon.

I definitely will not delve into the specifics of what happened in the royal bedroom, because of course nothing did happen because I was probably in the French Riviera playing a little game called seven stud. But I will say that there were certain equipment problems and I did have to improvise, as I am wont to do. Whilst being modest, I will say that MacGuyver couldn't have done a better job with the tools at hand, (even if he wasn't a homosexual).

Also, I have been with many Japanese women, a good number of them at the same time (A Tokyo Hilton, 1986, I believe it was), and Kiko exhibited a sexual appetite and creativity that I have only heretofore associated with the women of an indigenous Chilean mountain tribe I visited long ago. I'm digressing here, and saying more than I should, but it really made me nostalgic for my work in the Peace Corps.